Tuesday, August 10, 2004

This is a Test

Bounce Mama strikes again! Still bouncing forgiveness. Another story.

We have a person who we do business with, but we have never met her in person. Years ago, when we were engaged in another enterprise, she did some volunteer work for us that we appreciated and from which she got free publicity and ego strokes. Well, okay, I can see the set-up for discord now with 20/20 hindsight, but at the time we thought it seemed like a good idea.

We were a struggling business at the time and felt forced to make some changes in our format which included downsizing this woman’s contribution. A tricky proposition at best, we handled it with as much tact as we could. Partly because we usually try to be decent people and partly because she was still selling some other of our products which profited us. She seemed to always hold a grudge against us since that time, but she did continue to order our product to re-sell at a good profit to her.

Business-wise things seemed to be going well. The undercurrents with the woman’s emails and phone messages were increasingly stormy. We could do nothing right in her opinion. She flamed us many emails about how our methods of addressing her were inadequate. She rudely ranted on about how rude we were to her. Now, truly folks, on the surface our emails were NOT rude, we were really trying to just get along with her the best we could in order to continue to do business with her. So we thought anyway.

So this morning I got the PIE IN THE FACE message about what I had been doing with this woman. Even though my email messages were picture-perfect polite, I was VIBING scorn and derision at her because she was so over the top RUDE and NASTY. I got the smack in the face that she has been mirroring back to me what I have been sending out about her at a feeling level. I can email niceness and flowers, but if I am not forgiving her for reading the crummy material that I have programmed into my hard drive, then she is going to be totally incapable of responding with anything but pain and ferocious temper. It really is all in me, like it or not. I had been sending her messages that seemed nice on the surface but were really loaded, in between the pixels, with negative vibrations.

I sent her a totally neutral email this morning, probably the first REALLY NEUTRAL one ever. I got into forgiveness of both of us, and I am working hard on sending out friendly, healing vibes to her. I’ll let you know what happens! I am expecting a miracle.
-- Laura Solberg

Monday, August 09, 2004

Still Bouncing!

So, I am continuing to bounce/forgive, bounce/forgive for ½ hour every evening before bed. I have been doing it for 26 days now, during which time I have missed the forgiving ritual only twice because of extreme circumstances of some sort. I have to share my first documented miracle that I believe to be the result of my bounce/forgiving.......

I had a friend who I had known for many years. She had become a medical practitioner recently and I had been utilizing those skills of hers to help me with some body challenges I had been having. I had been paying her for her services whenever she indicated payment was required. Between times she and I had chatted about my health issues and she had done some research. All was well I thought.

Obviously I had been vibing some negative energy out into my world (more about this later!), because one day she emailed me a very nastygram accusing me of treating her very badly. She said it all in friendly-incorrect (bitchy) terms which shocked me (thankfully) into silence. After I had had some time to ponder all of this, I could see that if I flamed her back we would both be in an unalterable tail-spin into the pits of hell, which I did not particularly want to go through again in this lifetime! I could see that she simply did not see events the same way that I did and that she was in PAIN. What I did (remember this was in my pre-bounce/forgive existence) was apologize to her. I could, in total honesty, say to her (in email) that I was REALLY SORRY she was hurting so badly, and I was REALLY SORRY if anything I had done had made her hurt. That was all. I did not get into details about my behavior because I still thought I was right. She (minor miracle) emailed back immediately that she was also sorry and wished the best for me. That was a couple of months ago and I hadn’t seen her since.

Then I started my list of things that needed forgiving when I began the bounce thing. Of course, she was on that list. So, I bounce/forgave her. I bounce/forgave myself for vibing out that crummy scenario with her. I did it UP! and I did it DOWN! and I did it OVER and OVER and OVER. I included her and me in my forgiveness routine most every night, sometimes for several minutes, sometimes just a passing thought and on to more pressing forgivenesses.

Well, last Saturday is when the miracle happened! She sought me out at the Farmer’s and Crafts Market where I spend 4 ½ hours every Saturday morning selling honey (which is how Gordon and I make our living). She bought some honey and then sat down on the bench next to my stand. I took a deep breath, and, feeling like I was on a stage acting out the part of someone else, I went over and sat next to her! I asked her how she was doing and she responded and we had a pleasant civilized conversation! She left when I had to go take care of more customers, but we were on easy terms again.

I can hardly recognize the person I know as Laura in that behavior! It is as if I were cleansed as "pure as the driven snow" of the anger and hostility I had felt and so had she. I had let go of the "drama" of being wronged and poorly treated, for the peace and harmony of forgiveness. I do not know where this relationship will go now, but I sure am grateful to be rid of the rocks in my gut that I had carried.

So, I am gonna continue to bounce/forgive and watch for future miracles! (Who knows, maybe she has been bounce/forgiving too!)

-- Laura Solberg

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Bouncing Forgiveness

We still haven't heard back from Blogger about how to change this into a group blog. The following post is by Laura:

I have spent much of the last three weeks bouncing! I am known for my love of bouncing, either on the mini-rebounder in our bedroom, or our full size trampoline outside in our pasture. It makes me high to bounce, always has. There is scientific research indicating the health benefits of being suspended with no pressure on the lymph system. This allows for great cleansing to take place. So, it really does make me healthier to bounce. That, and I love to feel that giddy, giggly feeling of being free of the Earth, flying. It has always been happy-making for me.

However, for the last three weeks I have been bouncing in combination with another purpose. I attended a prosperity workshop sponsored by my local Mastery in Life church. This workshop challenged us to work their program for the next 30 days. One of the most inspiring and difficult assignments has been to mentally forgive EVERYONE I am holding in unforgiveness, and that includes MYSELF. Forgive them for everything, forgive myself for everything that I have not forgiven! Ye Gods! What a task! We are to spend ½ hour every evening before sleep doing this forgiveness work. Yes, that is right, thirty (30) solid minutes of nothing but forgiveness.

The first couple of nights I struggled with this task, not really even sure I was understanding what forgiveness really means. I made lists of everyone I imagined needed my forgiveness. I pondered forgiveness. Then about the third night it came to me that forgiveness is an ACTIVITY! Forgiveness is as active as walking, running, yes, even bouncing! So, I knew I had been given my clue about how to forgive: I bounce. I have my list of forgiveness candidates close by and I jump up and down actively forgiving them and, most especially, me. Now remember the assignment was to Mentally forgive. So, I said it over and over, "I forgive.........I am forgiven......" This was mental, but I made it physical with the bouncing. I began to feel the forgiveness in my body because of the activity.

When I began, I would review my day and discover incidences where I uncovered anger, resentment, and negative feelings lurking. UP! Forgive them! DOWN! Forgive myself! UP! "I forgive!" DOWN! "I am forgiven!" Soon I was finding those events red flagging themselves during the day when they actually happened. I am becoming adept at recognizing an event which, if I do not forgive when it is happening, I will have to forgive later when I am bouncing. I can now sometimes forgive in real time AS EVENTS HAPPEN! Other events are dealt with, actively, during my ½ hour of bouncing in the evening.

ACTIVE FORGIVING shows real promise for becoming a permanent way of life for me. I already feel less burdened with guilt and depression. I already feel joy bubbling up along with me as I bounce! BOUNCE ON, DUDE!

-- Laura Solberg

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Welcome Laura!

Laura Solberg will be posting here as soon as we can figure out how to work with Blogger's software, which evidently can't handle two people sharing the same email address.

Now a word about Laura -- back when we were putting out Earth Quarterly, she wrote a "Lauratorial" for each issue. After she had written a few, we had several people ask when she was going to write a book. She's that good.

So welcome, Laura -- soon I hope! She wants to post daily, which will take the pressure off my non-posting habit. I'm not really geared for frequent posting. My essays always require a lot of thinking and editing. BTW I'm working on several essays now, and have pages of scribbled notes to prove it.

Rest assured that this blog will be much more active before long.