Saturday, March 07, 2009

The Cards

On the other side of the bar, Buff wiped oily hands along his thighs. Pointmaster took a sly pick at his left nostril.

"Want another?" Buff asked.

"Nah, let’s go," Pointmaster answered.

"Well shit I only had two beers, and I need a third."

So Buff had his third and then they sallied forth under a jet-black sky; not a contrail in sight, but the Milky Way sure was pretty way back there behind everything else. They fired up the car and headed up Real Road, belching steam behind them.

***

"But Swiv!" Lester cried, "I mean, I’m me!"

"Well yeah, that’s plain to see, except, ya see, ya fergot the SEAM, it seems."

Lester fingered a Levi rivet. "SEAM? What the hell you talking about?"

Swivelhips shuffled backwards in mock surprise. "Ya mean ya don’t know about SEAMs? Ya been out on the range a-ridin them heifers so long, ya don’t know about SEAMs!" He pulled a battered wallet from his hip pocket, removed a greasy old card, and handed it to Lester: "Here, pardner. Read this. Then you’ll understand."

THE CARD SAID:

would i.e., However logical may be may be be
and another to know what one should be doing,
in a general way, to think think their
in fact Logic is "being logical"
in its own terminology, which unfortunately
in its own terminology, which unfortunately

Lester started muttering under his breath.

"Whatcha thank?" Swivelhips asked.

"Shit!"

"Shee-ut?"

"Shit! What’s this crap got to do with SEAMs? I mean this is a pretty stupid arguments in the first place, anyhow, you know."

"Now just ya wait a gol-branged minute before ya go around talkin bout stupid, buddy!"

Just at that moment Pointmaster and Buff came chugging up Swivelhips’ driveway and stopped next to the front porch, safety valve hissing.

Swivelhips shoved the card into his wallet and walked to the door. He leaned out and yelled, "Mah mama had a old pressure cooker that used ta cut farts exactly like that car of yours, boys!"

Pointmaster grabbed the railing and swung himself onto the porch. "Nothing like the ones your mama used to cut, eh Swiv?

Swivelhips stepped out to the edge of the porch and admired the Milky Way briefly.

Pointmaster released a belch into his fist.

"Where ya boys been?" Swivelhips asked.

"To Sally’s. Got a nightcap and a handful of hair in the bargain."

Swivelhips’ ears picked up. "Hair? Ya ain’t talking bout a priori interfaces now, are ye?"

"Sure am, by Brangus!"

"Well don’t that jus beat all! Me an ole Lester here jus been talkin bout SEAMs, which is pretty much the same thang, don’t ya reckon?"

"Shit," Lester put in.

Pointmaster yawned and stretched, popping his vertebrae in sequence. "You boys TRANS’d tonight yet?"

Just then Buff cut loose with his 30-30, tracer ammo stitching the hillside with sparks.

After the echoes died away, Swivelhips straightened from his crouch, replaced his pistol in his holster, and yelled out into the darkness, "Buff! Ya ought ta give a lil warnin fore ya do that!"

Turning back to Pointmaster he asked, "How long’s he been TRANS’d tonight, anyhow?"

"Not too long. I think he TRANS’d over at Sally’s – it was the hair done it."

"Hair," Lester muttered.

Pointmaster glanced over. "Well what the hell’s wrong with you, Lester?"

"Well shit, I just came over for a friendly drink with Swiv, but all he wants to do is argue and then he shows me this stupid old card like it’s supposed to mean something, and I just got disgusted with his whole attitude, is all."

Right on cue, Swivelhips showed Pointmaster the card.

Pointmaster glanced at the card and yelled over the porch rail to Buff, "Buff! Swiv’s got one of those cards just like you got!"

Buff reached the porch in a flat frenzy. "What!"

Pointmaster handed the card to Buff, who read his way down the card, eyebrows twitching.

"Yeah, sure is! Where’d you get it, Swiv?"

"Git it? I always had it. Mah daddy give it ta me when he was fixin ta die, said, ‘Son, take this card, cherish it and live by it, and the sun will see ya through yer darkest noon’ or somethin like that, he was fevered there at the end and didn’t speak too plain."

"Did you ever see my card?"

"How the hell’d you ever git one?"

"I got it off a rustler once, the biggest jangliest ol rustler you ever did see, loaded down with silver and turquoise so he couldn’t hardly move, hell I sweat he even had a turquoise inlayed tooth! I got my card off that rustler and carried it in my wallet ever since."

"Lemme see it!"

So Buff dug out his wallet and showed Swivelhips the card.

THE CARD SAID:

in fact Logic is "being logical"
in its own terminology which unfortunately
would i.e., However logical may be may be
in a general way, to think to think
and another to know what one should be doing


"Shore nuff!" Swivelhips guffed. "Almost says the same thang! Same type of printin, too!" He held out the card to Lester. "Wanna see, ole buddy?"

"Shit," Lester said, and went home.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Jacques Conejo said...

I sure love these weird characters and their weird stories! I mean, you never know what you're gonna get when you embark on these trips...

I appreciate your new emphasis and all, but please, keep throwing in these stories too. I suggest taking a poll of the readers and if the majority agree, it seems only fair to keep sprinkling these stories onto the page... Agreed?

You're photos are delightful. I love the Mud shot.

Jacques

8:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Agreed! Love the trippin stories, make me smile in a monkey kind of way!
And the photos's are awesome!

I too really like the mud shot,
printed it out . . to work on one of my fractual abstract paintings with!
Cheers Gordon!! thanks for your time in posting, giving me (us) a lovely place to check in on . . . from the trenches of Los Angeles.
Anne

and the gummy worms, sure gave a new perspective on your creative abilities!! ;)'

1:43 PM  

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